Blazed and Confused: the Simpsons Aftermath

The Simpsons broke burningman.com, just from its East Coast showing. It’s been down for at least 3 hours now: kind of surprising that BMOrg didn’t have someone working Sunday night in anticipation that something like this might happen.

The Simpsons has been rating very well this season, their recent Family Guy crossover was the #1 non-sports program on TV with 4.5% of households watching it.

The event is presented as a viable alternative for family camping on Labor Day weekend, and relatively easy to get to. $200 is mentioned as a ticket price for next year.

I think it’s fair to expect a massive increase in ticket demand for 2015, and a massive increase in the number of safari tourists who want to take selfies at Burning Man and cross it off their bucket list. “Oh you went to that thing on the Simpsons?”

I predict a ticket price increase, perhaps to $500 or more. The vehicle tax will stay, and may also be increased.

I don’t think it’s realistic to expect that the 40%+ Virgins who will be encouraged by this mainstream advertising will all learn our values and read the 20-page Survival Guide before they show up. It’s time to consider some changes to the event, such as more recycling stations and paid clean-up crews. Otherwise, the DPW Restoration volunteer team are just going to get saddled with the MOOP, like they were this year from Caravancicle/Lost Hotel, Gypsy Flower Power, and other camps.

Another consideration would be selling blinky lights at Center Camp. This is a safety issue. Let’s forget about this “all commerce is banned” charade, there were 45 licensed vendors this year. Everything from gasoline to energy drinks is for sale – not to mention AirBnB rooms and merchandise. Let’s banish darkwads, if we can.

We’ve heard a rumor – currently unconfirmed – that next year’s theme will be Circus-related. The last rumor we heard was that 2013 would be aliens, we were asked not to repeat that and we respected our source’s request. It turned out to be true when the Cargo Cult Man base was a giant UFO.

Circus seems appropriate, because Burning Man will now be full of clowns, party animals, and frat boy monkeys.

Without giving away too many spoilers, those who feel that there’s more to Burning Man than drugs and nudity will be disappointed with the way Burning Man Blazing Guy was portrayed in the episode. Conservative Marge is initially hesitant about the free-spirited event, until she is dosed with magic tea and starts tripping balls – then she loves it all. The aging baby boomers who fondly remember dropping acid in the Sixties will probably be driven to make Burning Man their next family camping destination. It’s surprising to see The Simpsons glorifying drug use in this way; it will only serve to reinforce the negative associations with Burning Man held by many in Defaultia. Disappointingly, there was nothing about any of the Principles. There were no sound camps, and absolutely no untz untz (EDM).

Pranking, shooting guns, tents flying away, dust storms, art cars, funky bicycles, costumes, giant sculptures, a long road trip through the desert to get there, drum circles, even fake Facebook accounts are all referenced.

I found the episode amusing, but not as funny as the earlier Malcolm in the Middle and South Park ones. I give it a 7/10.

Good luck getting tickets next year, Burners. I expect a brisk trade for the Commodification Camps and Donation tickets.