Thus starts one of the latest posts blowing up the blogosphere, from Burn After Reading magazine.
If you ask me, the most absurd thing you could do is this:
…which doesn’t make it bad. Even if tricks (eg superglue) are used, this is freaking amazing. I could get started with many more introductions to the Theater of the Absurd, but that’s an aside. We’re here making our plans for the short-term occupation of the Temporary Autonomous Zone – as taxed by state police, county police, Bureau of Land Management, DEA, and many other agencies – where we get to “express ourselves” and “rely on our selves” and maybe even (though it’s tenth on the list) do that amazing principle of “gifting”.
:
What is the most absurd thing you could do? Imagine it, right now. If you’re thinking of merely putting a lampshade on your head and drunkenly dancing on the table, you’re not even close. Get creative. First, you’ll need to look far sillier, so put on an unholy mismatch of your last few Halloween costumes and some of your partner’s formal wear. Grab some duct tape or rope and strap random objects to yourself: a teacup on your elbow, a dog toy to your thigh, TV remotes from your earlobes, a lit candle balanced on your nose. Okay, now speak nonsensically: insist that people call you Sludgecinder, come up with silly — and preferably clever — names for ordinary objects, and talk like a space pirate. Next you need to act weirdly too. Show off your party tricks: tie cherry stems in your mouth, juggle, eat pickles with ice cream, dance like a chicken — ideally all at once. Now you need a ridiculous way to get around. Stand on a skateboard and use a mop like an oar to move across the kitchen floor, put roller skates on your hands, or ride your lawn mower across the carpet. You’re doing pretty well, but we’re just getting started
BAR magazine, we love you’se all, our bro’s (and sis’s) before ho’s in the Burner blogosphere. But, why y’all gotsta be hating? Gotsta be hating on the ravers?
What if you take absurdity as your god, the driving force in your life? What if you study engineering and chemistry, master carpentry and welding, advance the fields of architecture and sculpture, all in order make more ridiculous projects? Then you can make a dance stadium with a sound system loud enough to violate the noise ordinances of any other city in the world, where the DJs have control of huge fireballs and lasers to shoot into the sky that can be timed with the music.
OK, maybe you were worshipping at the Molly-sprinkled altar of the ravers. In which case, nos moratori te salutamus!
Burning Man was a rave, possibly the world’s best one, long before EDM was an acronym. I saw Paul Oakenfold in a stonehenge playing for 8 hours to all of 70 people. My favorite DJ in the world, the best set of his I’ve seen in 15 different gigs over that many years. For real and for free. People will write odes to this in the future. Right now, Daft Punk is launching their latest album in Wee Waa, one of the most remote parts of Australia. Coincidence, or Burning Man? Call me a conspiracy theorist if you like, I pick Burning Man. What other explanation do they have for an album launch like this?
Daft Punk @ Burning Man is one of the ultimate culture bombs, exposed in the Burning Man Wikileaks of 2010. Burner Dispatch actually delivered them at the Old Skool Rave in 2011.
You got 99 problems, and a bitch is/ain’t one? Call captain Larry …”it’s not a riot, it’s just a rally”…[this chick sounds like she brings the good times! NOT]
Filed under: Burner Stories Tagged: 2013, art projects, city, ideas, press, stories, virgin 
